There's a difference between being a jerk and being an ass

The reasons why I haven't updated my blog are many. The main one is because I'm really lazy and I have some kind of age crisis. I want to say that it has something to do with me just turning 26, but honest to say, it's probably the 25 year crisis dragging itself out. Or maybe I'm just in a general crisis.
I've always got compliments for knowing what I want to do "when I grow up", people have told me that they don't know what they wanna do in their lifes and they just see days passing by without actually achieving something and that they are jelous of me for knowing. That I know what I wanna do and that I have a goal and I'm gonna accomplish something...
Truth to tell, I never knew what I wanna do. Sure, I always said so and I've always had a lot of arguments for it. But that's more quality I have (to argument for something and find reasons) rather than a wish. The only thing I ever actually wanted to do is to move away from home. How, where and why was not important at all, as long as i got as far as I could from that place.
I didn't make it to far, the first five years.. and then, a year across the pond, where I relized that I really don't wanna be a teenager anymore, journalism is not what I thought it was and I don't know what I wanna be.
There's so many thingsI would do different if i could do them all over again. And, I'm gonna try. My aunt once told me that I'll probably stay in school forever. She's more than right, I will work my ass off, as long as I get to stay in school.
I'm a bit ashamed of not knowing what I want to do anymore, since it feels like it has been liked. It feels like I'm disapointing them. And I feel like my new area of interest is not for me, that I don't know how to and I shouldn't pretend that I do. The very infamous Jante, is a close friend of mine.
I didn't want to write until I was sure of my new path in life. Not to say that I entierly given up on my journalistic dreams. It's more to say that the thing I always wanted is to do something that people like and that makes them think, and as a journalist you can do that, but there are many other ways too.
I've started up drawing and I want to learn photshop and illustrator. I know a lot of people that knows how to do those things a lot better than me. But I'm thinking that it shouldn't stop me from trying.
And, to be serious, a journalist who tend to faint in tense situations are probably not the best one.

Written by: Maja Savic

You r such a sillyface... Enjoy your age instead of panicing about it. You are still young, and you have a whole life in front of you.... Noone knows what to do with their own lives... you think I want to be a painter? Naah...

We all search for our own happiness, but actually forget to live our life in a meantime. Stay positive.

Love, Maja

2010-01-29 @ 00:55:43

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