Mucus covered brain

God, I hate to be sick. The only thing that happens to me is complete exhaustion. Then a runny nose and sneezing of course. The thing is that I'm tired, everything is twice as tireding as usual and I'm not that frisky to begin with.
Never the less, in some way or another I have actually managed myself to get my butt out my bed (without Mr. M, that would probably never been accomplished) and to work (again, Mr M) and in the end, the hard work (that's on me) actually payed off.
It may seem like the hours I worked is not to much (beacuse it's been like 4-6 hours a day) but it takes a lot of strenght. First of all, I'm new, so everything I do, I do it for the first time, second of all, where I am is in a closed area in the basement so it's like working in a sauna with no air flow and third, I'm actually sick but still working as I weren't. And then again, I'm not really employed so my work space is not really the best in mind. This take a lot of strenght and when I'm done, all I want to do is crawl up in front of the tv and do nothing for eternity.
But when I get back, I have to get on my feet again and try and find a job (with monthly pay) and deep inside of me I feel bad because I'm not updating my blog as much as I want to. Of course I get rest and naps and tv time and facebook time and probably blogging time if I try. Most of the time it feels like I can only to half of what anyone else can do.
But then my boss tell me that my creativity and positive attitude is my strenght and that mos people would give up after two days and I'm still calling after a week and after just giving a hint that I'm looking for a job I get called back and offered a job with complete responsibility over my hours and they tell me that the first impression I give is serious and hard working.
Somehow those things don't match.
I guess the answer is that I am sick but I'm pushing it at work, pretending that it is not there and when I get home I'm dead so I let my sickness go out over other stuff. But in the end, I don't feel like I'm getting any rest even though I have my naps and painting my nails and watching tv (all those things I usually do for resting). I guess again, that's because I'm sick.
I hate being sick, I wish I could be visible sick and not just so fucking tired.
But the good news is actually that I got a payed job! and I scored an advertiser for the radio so I got a program each month! too :D

Written by: Åsa

Vad är det för jobb du har fått?



2009-09-22 @ 07:23:16

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